just for "free"

PRAYER REQUEST: First of all, praise for the good night's sleep for both Lisa and me! Today we're going to a church picnic and I've been asked to "bring your violin"....there's a first for everything, and I believe this will be the very first time a violin will have been played at a picnic (at least for me!)

Nothing has happened yet, except I'm up and drinking my coffee.....reading the Bible reading and devotional for today. It looks to be less "wet" than yesterday.....several rain showers throughout our Friday. The whole 'structure' of this mission trip has been different than what I'm used to experiencing, and I know this is God just telling me to wait on Him, relax in Him.....in essence, "Free Fall" into His arms. Not to confuse this with plain ole' chilling. I'm realizing there is a gap between the last 2 sentences. Maybe wisdom would be to know and live the difference.
Many of us know how to relax (some of us perhaps TOO much!). Many others of us feel that "relaxing" is a waste of time. I lived a life for 24 years where both the circumstances and the people I lived with were not conducive to enjoying some "down" time. There were 18 children to raise.....along with the prevailing notion that in our family, one should always be striving to improve oneself either mentally or physically and therefore, just reading a novel, listening to music, or even daydreaming were stupid activities. We had to keep our 18 kids busy and fill up every second of their day.....if they're too tired to get into trouble that's good, of course, but it can also produce adults who don't even know how to take some time off. Even God rested after creating the whole world! He created our minds and bodies to need regular times of rest and relaxation. Having been raised in a family where the relationships were far more important than the careers, where music was not only enjoyed, but used as a ministry tool (my mom was the church organist for 38 years, my sister played flute and I violin...and we all sang together), and dad used to love planning our summer vacations.....after returning home, he taught us to savor the memories.....I am much more prone to want to enjoy every moment, whether or not it is a scheduled, life-improving activity!
But I believe that "Be still and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10) is way different than crashed out on the sofa in front of the TV for hours at a time. To me, it almost implies a deliberate and even active, focus on who God is....choosing to crawl up into His lap and lean back close to His heart. Many of us DO daily devotions.....read the passage, give a little nod to our Lord....."hey, good morning, nice to see you again, gotta go network!" and check that off our to-do list. We show up at church, drop a check in the offering, and pat ourselves on the back because "enough" people saw us at church....maybe even on their TVs because we "just happened" to be sitting in the area where the cameras pan the congregation. We pride ourselves on knowing the worship songs, maybe raising our hands at the proper places (usually the chorus, right?) and even underline some verses in our Bibles.
Don't get me wrong, I love to underline favorite verses, so I can go back and meditate on them again......but what I want more than than a Bible that's marked up, is to have a life that has the definite mark of my Lord in whatever I do. I am extremely blessed to have hopped off a folding chair as a 5-year old girl at a tent meeting....to "go forward" and ask Jesus to come into my heart. George Sweeting will always be special to me, because it was he, as a young traveling evangelist/chalk artist, who drew a picture of Jesus walking on the water and gave the invitation that was earmarked for me.
Yet, I know that I had nothing to do with it. God placed that desire in my heart in the first place, and all I can do is continually thank Him for drawing me to Him so early in my life. Parents and grandparents who were very committed, quite fundamental believers, gave me a wonderful foundation and heritage, and though I had Eph. 6:1 read to me more often than I want to admit, I will always be grateful that they cared enough about me to drill obedience and respect into my life.
Maybe it's a sign of getting old that it seems American teens and twenty-somethings today are becoming much less caring of their parents. Or maybe it's just a sign that that's exactly what's happening! After all, family is where you live....parents were given an assignment by God, and one can't just discard a parent if they say something one doesn't want to hear. When I think of how much I love my own children, yep, all 18 of 'em, (20 if you count my two wonderful step-daughters) it's just a teeny fraction compared to how much my Father loves me!
I've been trying to read a Proverb a day.....and I'm hoping to keep this up for the rest of my life. (interesting how there are 31 of them....) and I think, "ok, now I'm old enough".... but I continue to need more wisdom. I love Chris Tiegreen's devotionals (Walk thru the Bible, Atlanta, GA)....and to quote from May 4, "wisdom isn't flashy, rarely impresses, and never demands. Folly is brash, showy, and frequently pushy."
Which one am I? Do I expend energy trying to impress everyone? Do I need designer everything and the latest gadget to show how important I am? Is more of my time spent on my outward appearance than on my inner attitude and character? Do I continue to honor my parents' training and heritage, though they're Home now? Every time I go through the Bible.....Proverbs especially, I'm amazed at how many verses equate wisdom with honoring one's parent. Apparently God really places a high value on obeying that commandment of honoring our parents, and I still reflect on what a rich life my parents passed on to me. No, we didn't have a lot of money....I remember a day when I was outside the kitchen window playing, and I heard my dad say to my mom we only had $500 in the bank, and the company where he was working was closing down, laying off all employees. My recollection is that no matter what, we were in God's hands and so even my earliest memories were of total dependence on Him. We always had a roof over our heads, food to eat, and family to love, and that was enough. New clothes came, usually at Christmas. New shoes, at Easter. Otherwise, my mom sewed all my sister's and my dresses. I never felt poor, and though my sister and cousins and I were the first generation to go to college, my parents and grandparents were wiser than most other people I knew.......the older I got, the smarter they got! (how DOES that happen?) All I knew was that God said if I wanted things to "go well with me", and "live long" that I needed to obey and honor them, and that was a very wise thing to do. This seems to be a generation when many children think they have the RIGHT to "cut parents off" from their lives, and it scares me that they don't understand there will be consequences.....maybe not right away, but ultimately we all have to stand before God and answer His questions. Not that we are to be legalistic and Pharisaical, but I've always been taught that a sign of my love for my parents and for God is my wanting to obey His commandments. Is this wisdom? I hope so.....I can tend to ramble (ya think?), but maybe the older I get, the more okay with that I am. I know I want to be blessed, and there's a verse that tells us, "yea, rather blessed are they that hear the word of God and do it..." Ok, I want the blessing....guess that means I need to not only read, underline, carry the biggest Bible I own to church, but actually prove my love for God by obeying His word.....maybe that is a good start on growing in wisdom.....Prov. 1:7 says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." Lord give me more wisdom......(and just maybe, a little nice weather for the church picnic today! :-)